Kanayan parma\u011f\u0131m\u0131n, a\u011fr\u0131yan belimin ac\u0131s\u0131, korkunca \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131n, g\u00fcl\u00fcnce an\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131n tazecik sayfalar\u0131n\u0131n hat\u0131ras\u0131 can\u0131m annem. \u0130ki laf\u0131m\u0131n biri, ama en \u00e7ok bitmeyen, bitmeyecek kalbimin s\u0131z\u0131s\u0131 can\u0131m annem…<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ans\u0131z\u0131n b\u0131rakt\u0131n gittin bilinmeyen aleme. Seni g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm son kare hi\u00e7 \u00e7\u0131km\u0131yor akl\u0131mdan. O kare ile girdi\u011fim, tarif edemedi\u011fim, ac\u0131 ve h\u0131\u00e7k\u0131r\u0131\u011f\u0131n bo\u011faz\u0131m\u0131 d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmledi\u011fi, \u00e7aresizli\u011fin, pes etmi\u015fli\u011fin \u00e7\u00f6zd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc dizlerimin ba\u011f\u0131 korkar\u0131m bir daha hi\u00e7 onar\u0131lmaz annem. \u0130\u00e7imde, kalbimin tam ortas\u0131na konan o bo\u015fluk doldurulamaz annem. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00c7aresizim: Kendimi g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc zannederdim ama hi\u00e7 de de\u011filmi\u015fim. Benim k\u0131r\u0131lma noktam senmi\u015fsin me\u011fer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u0130syan edemem: \u0130taatkar\u0131m. Yaradana ba\u015f kald\u0131ramam \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc. Do\u011fuma da \u00f6l\u00fcme de ne diyeyim. Ne garip de\u011fil mi, “Allah s\u0131ral\u0131 \u00f6l\u00fcm versin” diye etti\u011fimiz dua, beni ve eminim ki bir \u00e7ok insan\u0131 k\u0131s\u0131r bir d\u00f6ng\u00fc i\u00e7ine s\u00fcr\u00fckl\u00fcyor. Do\u011fuma nas\u0131l sevindiysek, \u00f6l\u00fcm ger\u00e7e\u011fine de \u00f6yle \u00fcz\u00fcl\u00fcyoruz i\u015fte. Kabul etmek zor. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc \u00f6l\u00fcm ger\u00e7e\u011fini bilmek, ya\u015fanm\u0131\u015fl\u0131klar\u0131n hat\u0131ras\u0131 ile \u00fcz\u00fcnt\u00fcye engel olam\u0131yor. Sana \u00fcz\u00fcl\u00fcrken, “Allah \u00e7ocuklar\u0131m\u0131 bana, beni onlara ba\u015flas\u0131n” diyorum. Bencillik mi bu \u015fimdi, bilemeyerek?! Allah bana evlat ac\u0131s\u0131 ya\u015fatmas\u0131n, beni daha da b\u00fcy\u00fck ac\u0131lar ile test etmesin diyerek.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
K\u0131skan\u0131yorum: K\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131k bilmeyen ben, kendime inanamayarak ilk defa, annesi olanlar\u0131 k\u0131skan\u0131yorum. Birden fark\u0131ndal\u0131\u011f\u0131m artt\u0131. Benim d\u0131\u015f\u0131mda etraf\u0131mdaki \u00e7o\u011fu inasan\u0131n annesi var. Ne mutlu onlara, mutsuzluk bana. Kendi kendime diyorum ki, bu ac\u0131 da bana bir \u015feyler \u00f6\u011fretecek. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kar\u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131m: Mesela, kendimi kanamal\u0131 bir hasta gibi hissediyorum. Ne kanamam ne de ac\u0131m hi\u00e7 durmuyor. G\u00fcl\u00fcyorum, e\u011fleniyorum ama sonunda mutlaka ac\u0131ma d\u00f6n\u00fcyorum. Unutulmuyor, ac\u0131 hafifliyor belki. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00d6\u011fretiyor: \u015eu alemde etti\u011fimiz o koca koca laflar, hayat\u0131 anlad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 zannederek, ba\u015far\u0131l\u0131 bir hayat s\u00fcrd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fc zannederek ya\u015fad\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131z… Hepsi bo\u015f, ac\u0131 kuca\u011f\u0131n\u0131za d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde anl\u0131yorsunuz ki; siz hayat\u0131 de\u011fil, hayat sizi mat etmi\u015f. Onca kavga bo\u015funa. Elde sadece g\u00fczel an\u0131lar, hissetti\u011finiz sevgi, dinmeyen kalp s\u0131z\u0131s\u0131 ve son fotograf kal\u0131yor. O zaman kocaman bir yaln\u0131zl\u0131\u011fa kap\u0131l\u0131yorsunuz. Uzaktan da olsa sizi kollayan, size dua g\u00f6nderen ki\u015fi, MELEK ANNEN\u0130Z, yok art\u0131k. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ve anl\u0131yorsunuz ki; “a\u011flarsa anam a\u011flar, gersi yalan a\u011flar” \u00e7ok de\u011ferli bir s\u00f6z. Ve hayat de\u011fi\u015fiyor, “annemden \u00f6nce, annemden sonra”ya!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Kanayan parma\u011f\u0131m\u0131n, a\u011fr\u0131yan belimin ac\u0131s\u0131, korkunca \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131n, g\u00fcl\u00fcnce an\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131n tazecik sayfalar\u0131n\u0131n hat\u0131ras\u0131 can\u0131m annem. \u0130ki laf\u0131m\u0131n biri, ama en \u00e7ok bitmeyen, bitmeyecek kalbimin s\u0131z\u0131s\u0131 can\u0131m annem… Ans\u0131z\u0131n b\u0131rakt\u0131n gittin bilinmeyen aleme. Seni g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm son kare hi\u00e7 \u00e7\u0131km\u0131yor akl\u0131mdan. O kare ile girdi\u011fim, tarif edemedi\u011fim, ac\u0131 ve h\u0131\u00e7k\u0131r\u0131\u011f\u0131n bo\u011faz\u0131m\u0131 d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmledi\u011fi, \u00e7aresizli\u011fin, pes etmi\u015fli\u011fin \u00e7\u00f6zd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc dizlerimin ba\u011f\u0131 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":219941,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[646],"tags":[5582,606,55693],"class_list":["post-219924","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-kose-yazilari","tag-anne","tag-hayat","tag-teslimiyet"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.tvturk.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/indir.jpg?fit=312%2C162","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paKIfm-Vda","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.tvturk.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/219924","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.tvturk.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.tvturk.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.tvturk.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.tvturk.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=219924"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.tvturk.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/219924\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":219943,"href":"http:\/\/www.tvturk.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/219924\/revisions\/219943"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.tvturk.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/219941"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.tvturk.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=219924"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.tvturk.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=219924"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.tvturk.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=219924"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}