Ka\u00e7 hafta oldu bilmiyorum. G\u00fcnleri saymay\u0131 b\u0131rakt\u0131m \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc.\nKalk, kahvalt\u0131 haz\u0131rla, \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n dersleri, oyunu, evin temizli\u011fi, yeme\u011fi\n\u00fct\u00fcs\u00fc. Ben neredeyim burada, kendime soruyor muyum ki?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kafamda b\u00fct\u00fcn d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnceler ayaklanm\u0131\u015f, s\u0131raya girmeden hepsi, bir\nnefeste tu\u015flara d\u00f6k\u00fclmeyi bekliyor. Beklesin, acelesi neyse! \u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Elim g\u00fcnl\u00fck i\u015flerde kafamda d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnceler. Bu ya\u015fananlar normal\nde\u011fil. Hi\u00e7 akl\u0131m\u0131za gelir miydi bug\u00fcnler? Nerde?… Olsa olsa iyi bir senaryoda\nkar\u015f\u0131m\u0131za \u00e7\u0131kabilirdi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ben \u00e7ok \u015fikayet\u00e7iydim, insanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n u\u00e7urumun kenar\u0131nda\nolmas\u0131ndan. \u0130nsan\u0131n de\u011feri, sahip oldu\u011fu ekonomi ile \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcl\u00fcyordu. \u0130nsanl\u0131k; ger\u00e7ek zenginler, insanlar \u00fczerinden\nzengin s\u0131n\u0131f olmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fan \u00f6zentiler ve onlar\u0131n a\u015fa\u011f\u0131lad\u0131\u011f\u0131, ezdi\u011fi kalan\n\u00e7o\u011funluk olarak s\u0131n\u0131flara ayr\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. <\/p>\n\n\n\n S\u0131k s\u0131k kendime soruyordum: Bu d\u00fcnyada ayakta kalmak i\u00e7in \u00fc\u00e7ka\u011f\u0131t\nm\u0131 \u00e7evirmek gerek? \u0130nsanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 kaybetmeden bir \u015fey elde edemez misin? Biri\ndi\u011ferini ezmek zorunda m\u0131? Bu sorular\u0131m\u0131n cevaplar\u0131n\u0131 uzakta aramama gerek\nkalmadan \u00e7evremde g\u00f6r\u00fcr, vicdan\u0131m\u0131n huzuruna s\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131r, yoluma devam ederdim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n H\u0131zla ge\u00e7en zaman, yeti\u015fememe duygusu\u2026 Bu \u015fikayetler sadece\nbenim de\u011fil, b\u00fct\u00fcn insanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n neredeyse her hanesinde vard\u0131. Bir anormallik\noldu\u011fu ve ya\u015fam\u0131n k\u0131yamete yana\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131 s\u00f6zleri ile sonland\u0131r\u0131l\u0131rd\u0131 hayat\u0131\nsorgulayan konu\u015fmalar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n CORONA; \u015eimdi ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z k\u0131yametin ad\u0131. Ya da bana g\u00f6re\nAllah\u2019\u0131n b\u00fct\u00fcn insanl\u0131\u011fa bir uyar\u0131s\u0131. Faturas\u0131 \u00e7ok a\u011f\u0131r oluyor\u2026 <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u0130nsan zaruri de olsa elini \u00e7ekince do\u011fa, do\u011fal d\u00f6ng\u00fcs\u00fcne d\u00f6nd\u00fc.\nHayvanlar, bitkiler i\u00e7 i\u00e7e bar\u0131\u015f i\u00e7inde ya\u015famaya ba\u015flad\u0131. Sular daha berrak\nak\u0131yor, \u00e7i\u00e7ekler korkusuzca a\u00e7\u0131yor. \u0130nsanl\u0131k gereken dersi \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131rsa, bir uyan\u0131\u015f\nolacak belli ki. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n Bazen ya\u015fananlar akl\u0131ma Sertap Erener\u2019in, \u201c\u0130yile\u015fiyorum\u201d \u015fark\u0131s\u0131n\u0131\ngetiriyor. Kendimce ba\u011fda\u015ft\u0131r\u0131yorum i\u015fte\u2026 Buna d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerde ya\u015fanan \u201cgel-git\u201dler\nneden oluyor belki de.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201c<\/em><\/strong>Asl\u0131nda\niyiyim ger\u00e7ekten<\/em><\/strong> Ben, \u201casl\u0131nda iyiyim\nger\u00e7ekten\u201d diye ba\u015fl\u0131yor duygular\u0131m. \u0130\u00e7imdeki ayaklanm\u0131\u015f duygular\u0131 anlamaya,\ntan\u0131maya, kendimle y\u00fczle\u015fmeye \u00e7abal\u0131yorum. Yolculuk uzun ve yorucu\u2026 Mutfaktan\nsalona ge\u00e7erken bile modum de\u011fi\u015fiyor bazen. Evde, sosyal ya\u015famda \u00fcstlendi\u011fim\nb\u00fct\u00fcn stat\u00fcleri d\u0131\u015f kap\u0131mda b\u0131rakt\u0131m: Anneyim her \u015fekilde. Tek i\u015fimin bu\nolmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 a\u015fikar ama a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131k bu y\u00f6nde. Bazen sesim y\u00fckseliyor, benim g\u00f6revim\nsadece anne olmak m\u0131 diyorum! Hatta, \u201csiz sokakta olabilesiniz diye biz evdeyiz\u201d\ndiye slogan geli\u015ftirdim. Sokaktakiler, biz rahat rahat evde kalal\u0131m diye\ncanlar\u0131n\u0131 tehlikeye atm\u0131yorlar m\u0131?…<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00d6yle \u00f6zlemlerim var ki;\nk\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcc\u00fck, minicik! <\/p>\n\n\n\n Doya doya yazsam mesela,\nokusam, tart\u0131\u015fsam, yar\u0131m saat konsantre olsam\u2026\u0130\u015fte, en b\u00fcy\u00fck dinlenme bu bana. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Ge\u00e7ecek bu g\u00fcnler elbet. Sa\u011fl\u0131kla,\ng\u00fcne\u015fin \u0131s\u0131tt\u0131\u011f\u0131 o g\u00fczel g\u00fcnler gelecek. Hem de \u00e7ok yak\u0131n. \u0130nan\u0131yorum buna ve o\ng\u00fcnler i\u00e7in zihnen ve bedenen iyile\u015fmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yorum. Sizin zihninizden neler\nge\u00e7iyor kim bilir? Siz de iyile\u015fiyor musunuz?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dostlukla<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Zeliha Bedir <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Ka\u00e7 hafta oldu bilmiyorum. G\u00fcnleri saymay\u0131 b\u0131rakt\u0131m \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc. Kalk, kahvalt\u0131 haz\u0131rla, \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n dersleri, oyunu, evin temizli\u011fi, yeme\u011fi \u00fct\u00fcs\u00fc. Ben neredeyim burada, kendime soruyor muyum ki? Kafamda b\u00fct\u00fcn d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnceler ayaklanm\u0131\u015f, s\u0131raya girmeden hepsi, bir nefeste tu\u015flara d\u00f6k\u00fclmeyi bekliyor. Beklesin, acelesi neyse! \u2026 Elim g\u00fcnl\u00fck i\u015flerde kafamda d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnceler. Bu ya\u015fananlar normal de\u011fil. Hi\u00e7 akl\u0131m\u0131za gelir miydi bug\u00fcnler? […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":262978,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[646,655],"tags":[63753,18100,64580],"class_list":["post-262977","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-kose-yazilari","category-son-dakika","tag-corona","tag-insanlik","tag-kafamda-dusunceler"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.tvturk.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/evde-kal.jpg?fit=269%2C187","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paKIfm-16pz","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.tvturk.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/262977","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.tvturk.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.tvturk.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.tvturk.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.tvturk.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=262977"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.tvturk.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/262977\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":262979,"href":"http:\/\/www.tvturk.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/262977\/revisions\/262979"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.tvturk.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/262978"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.tvturk.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=262977"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.tvturk.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=262977"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.tvturk.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=262977"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nBir kere \u00f6zg\u00fcr hissediyorum kendimi
\n\u00c7apraz yat\u0131yorum yatakta
\nOh be, diyorum
\nHer \u015fey tamamen benim art\u0131k
\nCan\u0131m ne isterse onu yap\u0131yorum
\nAma bazen, bilhassa ak\u015fam olurken
\nBir tuhafl\u0131k olmuyor de\u011fil
\nS\u0131zl\u0131yorum, \u00f6zl\u00fcyorum
\nResimlerini atam\u0131yorum mesela
\nBakam\u0131yorum
\nK\u0131z\u0131yorum, \u00e7ok k\u0131z\u0131yorum
\n\u00dczmek istiyorum seni
\nCan\u0131n\u0131 yakmak istiyorum
\nSonra yat\u0131\u015f\u0131yorum<\/em><\/strong>
\nSana da \u00fcz\u00fcl\u00fcyorum
\nAma iyile\u015fiyorum ya, iyile\u015fiyorum.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n